Done!

What a lovely word! Done! And that's what I am--DONE with my second draft of Novel 1! It's a great feeling. Like I've scaled a mountain for the second time! Of course there is more drafting to come, but this now feels like a Real Manuscript. I can now start to doodle query letters and novel titles and imagine my book in print--in addition to working hard to get it ready for that, of course.

I clocked in a little shy of my word goal, but as I've been going off "word count" as the easiest route, I don't know what my queryable word count will be. Once I get the manuscript all together (I have chapters strewn across 3 computers), I will format and find manuscript word count. I'm hoping that comes out a little closer to 80k.

Determined not to let my pessimism/realism from getting my spirits down right now. Right now, I know I CAN and WILL be a published author someday!

The Future...

Sometimes I get so scared about writing. I know how many people out there want to be authors. Who doesn't know someone who is "working on a book/novel"? I know that there are plenty of talented writers who never find the right agent or the right publisher, and their work slides into obscurity. I know that it takes more than talent to get published--and what if the cards are never dealt in my favor? What if I work my ass off, and I never get anywhere? This is just a hobby? I suppose I should say that it wouldn't matter, and that I write for the joy of writing. And to a certain extent, of course, I do, or I wouldn't write. But a lot of the times I write because I want to be a writer. I want to share my work, I want to have readers and yes, I want to work from home. And I know how incredibly unlikely that is. Most of the time I delude myself into thinking that I am somehow special, that of course someday I'll get my break. But I have to deal with the fact that it may not ever happen. And what then? Will I still be willing to write novels for the sheer joy of it? Seeing as I have finished 3 complete manuscript drafts (not polished or ready to submit, of course), you would think the answer is yes. But more and more I realize the answer is no. It just takes so much time and effort, and at the end of the day, I can't keep doing this for nothing.

But how long will it take me to realize it's not going to happen? I'm still young; I still have that optimism of youth. Will I waste the prime years of my life spending hours hunched over a laptop, pondering the strength of my word choice and how long it takes to cook a meal on the road in a medieval fantasy world? Will I grow depressed as I receive rejection after rejection until I feel like a failure? There are so many books out there already, sometimes I have to wonder why I even try adding to it. Do I really have anything new or important to say?

These are, I think, normal fears for a writer. But that doesn't make them any less real to me. I still have a few years yet before I abandon this dream, but lord how I hope I don't have to!

November Wrap-Up

November has come and gone, and left me feeling pretty damn good! It's lovely to feel that for a change. Lovely to be able to use my sometimes-onerous work life as an advantage for my writing. Lovely to really feel like I accomplished something! Now, after all that hype, the real numbers...

November total: 31,825.

Keeping in mind that my goal was 9,000, I think I definitely earned a little self-congratulatory pat on the back! Of course, I must point out that few of these words were original. As I get farther along in my draft, large chunks of the writing just need to be transcribed from tablet to computer. Still, I am COUNTING IT! Over 30k words in a month, and according to my beta, not too shabby words!

So I'm not going to let this enthusiasm lag. I can finish this month. I know it. I promise I will finish this month! Yes, that means about 20k more words, but I really believe I can do it. Especially considering my husband is going on a trip for a week, which will leave me PLENTY of time for writing! (And playing xbox, but hopefully I can avoid that temptation...)

Full Steam Ahead

After months of struggling, I think I have finally broken through that wall! November started out slow, 5 days with not a word written at all. I was wondering if even my modest 9k goal was too high. Then, as I got into a routine this underway, I started writing every day. I've written every day for the past 8 days, and I have already trounced my 9k goal! (Currently sitting at 11,572 for the month.) Plus, I finally got past the "old part" of my draft into the newer stuff that requires very little rewriting. For example, today I typed up a scene of 3167 words that needed only a few cosmetic tweakings, and it took less than an hour. I am on to Chapter 9 of 18, and I am really starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel (and that light is a third draft...).

So hopefully this momentum can continue! I am underway for another 6 days, and I have no reason to think I won't be able to keep this up the whole time. I've even started to have new novel ideas pop into my head and realized that, in a few months, I might be able to start seriously working on them! Awesome. I have to remind myself to slow down a little, I still need at least another draft of this one, but I'm already drafting queries in my head and wondering which agent will be right for me.

I'm just going to enjoy the optimism for now! =)

October 2010 Wrap-Up

Another month, gone already? Say it isn't so! October was...disappointing, to say the least. Although this time I DO have an excuse for it. Work has been crazy. Absolutely crazy. (I'm going on 12 hours of being here today!) So I'm going to not judge myself too harshly for these numbers.

October total: 5,866.

It's low. Very low. I know that. I have very little hope for November. In fact, I'm refining my previously optimistic goals down to a more reasonable number--9,000. I hope it's small enough that is doesn't seem too daunting, but large enough to get another scoop of the draft done.

Maybe it's one disappointing month after another, but I am NOT giving up. I am NOT going to lose hope. I believe in this book, and if not this one, then another, because I believe in myself.

NaNoWriMo

As October winds down, I find myself facing, yet again, the Big Question--to Nano or no? I've attempted NaNoWriMo before, but I've never been too successful at it. I find that it's no different than my usual self-motivation. The impetus to write copious words dies after a few days. Then I get disappointed in myself...and that's just a vicious cycle.

On the other hand, it might be a good chance to get a new novel kicked off. As I'm approaching the finish line for Novel 1 (okay, so I've only finished 5 chapters of the 18 chapters in the 2nd of at least 3 drafts--it's more done than not done!), I want to get working on something new. I'm thinking something scifi, as I've been in the fantasy mode for a while. I have a few ideas, but nothing that's really chomping at the bit to get going. So Nano could be a good chance to force a new draft into gear. But it could also fizzle and make me hate yet another of my ideas, as happened during my last two attempts.

Not to mention that most of my month of November will be spent doing a rather exhausting exercise for work. So I guess I won't be even fooling myself into thinking I'll Nano this year. Instead, I think I need to focus on finishing this draft before moving onto my next project. I've never been a good multitasker!

September 2010 Wrap-Up

Okay, so I'm a little delayed in getting this post up, but my life has been not very writing-centric in the past few weeks. Not a defense, I know, but no one ever reads this anyway, so who cares? I'll merely judge myself!

Anyway, total words for September: 8561.

It's not a fantastic total, and I really don't have any excuse for it. I'd say that I'd do better in October, but it's already 10 days in and I've written a total of once. Granted, I banged out a good 1623 that day, but still, I'm falling very behind. Starting to wonder if I can even finish this draft before the end of the year. Still, I'm slowly but surely getting through the parts that needed the most re-working. In a few more chapters, I'll basically just be a typist!

October's goal is 24,800. I'm already 5,557 words behind that, but it's not too early to lose hope!