Thursday, June 16, 2011

Little Steps

I am trying to chip away at this mean old case of writer's block I've got going on. It's just not feasible to say "Alright, I'm powering through and going to write X number of words every day!" Because my mind shuts down, I don't write anything, and every passing day I get more and more discouraged.

So for now I'm just trying to think about writing every day. This sounds incredibly lame--okay, it is incredibly lame. But it's working! I've been pondering a new world for just about 5 minutes every day for the past week, and I'm finally feeling the beginnings of the stirrings of inspiration way in the back of my mind.


Now I am printing out a beat sheet and going to start a skeleton plot structure. That's all. Not going to pressure myself into starting any writing, or any real character creation or in-depth world building. Just a basic plot, and we'll see what comes after that.

It's not much, but I'll take anything at this point.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

An Unexpected Inverse Relationship

Obviously I have been struggling a lot with my writing lately. Writer's block is painful for a whole host of reasons. I think the worst is the doubts that creep in--why am I doing this? Can I do this? Why should I do this if I am going months without writing? But at the same time, not writing sucks. I want to be writing, even when I am having strong aversions to actually writing.

So the natural thing to do is try to examine the root cause of the writer's block. In my case, this is something that comes and goes without rhyme or reason. In this instance I can probably pin it down to the upheaval of my personal life--moving across the country, starting a new job, getting divorced, struggling to define what I really want in life. But that's not very helpful as I can't exactly change any of those things. So I find myself pondering a connection that I have previously noted on many occasions.

The more I exercise, the less I write.

It makes no sense. It's not an issue of time management. For the past couple months I've had nothing but time, to the point where I manage to spend a surprising amount of time lying on the couch staring at the wall. So if I'm not sacrificing my writing time to work out, why do the two affect each other so much?

I can only postulate that they both somehow serve a similar purpose for me mentally. When you're out on a 4 mile run, there is plenty of time to think. To relax, let your stress melt away. And then you don't need to pour your stress into a fantastical adventure in far off lands. I have no idea if this is true or not, but I first noticed this trend in college and have seen it play out many times before.

In fact, I've been thinking about writing this post for 2 weeks, and I am sitting here finally writing it only after skipping my work out yesterday and not having worked out since Thursday. (A connection I didn't even notice until I had already started writing the post.)

So what to do about it? I love to exercise. I want to stay healthy, and I really enjoy it. But I love to write. I want to leave my mark on the world in the form of the written word.

I wish I had an answer.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

May 2011 Wrap-Up

I don't even know if it is worth it to post a monthly recap. It can be summed up in this: nothing.

I would post something optimistic about June, but my heart wouldn't be in it. At this point, I just hope I can get any words.

Words written: 988.

Yup. Less than 1k words in an entire month during which I wasn't even working. I fail. I feel really pessimistic about my writing future right now.