An Unexpected Inverse Relationship

Obviously I have been struggling a lot with my writing lately. Writer's block is painful for a whole host of reasons. I think the worst is the doubts that creep in--why am I doing this? Can I do this? Why should I do this if I am going months without writing? But at the same time, not writing sucks. I want to be writing, even when I am having strong aversions to actually writing.

So the natural thing to do is try to examine the root cause of the writer's block. In my case, this is something that comes and goes without rhyme or reason. In this instance I can probably pin it down to the upheaval of my personal life--moving across the country, starting a new job, getting divorced, struggling to define what I really want in life. But that's not very helpful as I can't exactly change any of those things. So I find myself pondering a connection that I have previously noted on many occasions.

The more I exercise, the less I write.

It makes no sense. It's not an issue of time management. For the past couple months I've had nothing but time, to the point where I manage to spend a surprising amount of time lying on the couch staring at the wall. So if I'm not sacrificing my writing time to work out, why do the two affect each other so much?

I can only postulate that they both somehow serve a similar purpose for me mentally. When you're out on a 4 mile run, there is plenty of time to think. To relax, let your stress melt away. And then you don't need to pour your stress into a fantastical adventure in far off lands. I have no idea if this is true or not, but I first noticed this trend in college and have seen it play out many times before.

In fact, I've been thinking about writing this post for 2 weeks, and I am sitting here finally writing it only after skipping my work out yesterday and not having worked out since Thursday. (A connection I didn't even notice until I had already started writing the post.)

So what to do about it? I love to exercise. I want to stay healthy, and I really enjoy it. But I love to write. I want to leave my mark on the world in the form of the written word.

I wish I had an answer.