Beginnings!

Oh, how I love beginnings! As I let draft 2 of Novel 1 sit (I need to do the third draft with a relatively "fresh" set of eyes--I am worn out and sick of it all right now!), I decided to start putting some new stuff down on paper. I've been planning to work on Novel 2 next, a grand ol' space opera with a, hopefully, intriguing protagonist, but all of the sudden I wanted to work on what shall hence be called Novel 4. Novel 4 is an idea I've had banging around in my head for ages. I tried to use it for NaNoWriMo a couple years ago, but it never took off. It just seems right to work on that now. In the past hour I've already sketched out a rough outline and am working on some basic charactering (um, yes, it's a verb!). I may even begin work on draft 1 this week!

The excitement of starting something totally NEW is amazing. It banishes all my fears and trepidations about "oh, well do I really want to be a writer," and somehow makes it much harder to be all doom and gloom about the future of hard-copy publishing and the role of sheer dumb luck in the whole process. I know that as I go on and the writing gets tough and isn't as perfect as I want, all the doubts will return and I will get to wrestle them again. But for now, I am going to enjoy the sweet feeling of creation!

(Also, starting work on a query for Novel 1. I know that the third draft needs to be done and polished before I can start submitting, but it can't hurt to have a letter ready to go, right?)

(Also also, I still don't have a title for Novel 1! I know that it's the least important bit and can be changed once I blow someone away with my amazing writing, but I mean, I'd like to have one, you know? I can't query it as "novel 1," as awesome as that would be. Fuck. I hate titles. Hopefully my beta can come up with one...)

(Oh, and one more thing, I did a manuscript word count for Novel 1, and it clocked in at 84k! Perfect!)

Done!

What a lovely word! Done! And that's what I am--DONE with my second draft of Novel 1! It's a great feeling. Like I've scaled a mountain for the second time! Of course there is more drafting to come, but this now feels like a Real Manuscript. I can now start to doodle query letters and novel titles and imagine my book in print--in addition to working hard to get it ready for that, of course.

I clocked in a little shy of my word goal, but as I've been going off "word count" as the easiest route, I don't know what my queryable word count will be. Once I get the manuscript all together (I have chapters strewn across 3 computers), I will format and find manuscript word count. I'm hoping that comes out a little closer to 80k.

Determined not to let my pessimism/realism from getting my spirits down right now. Right now, I know I CAN and WILL be a published author someday!

The Future...

Sometimes I get so scared about writing. I know how many people out there want to be authors. Who doesn't know someone who is "working on a book/novel"? I know that there are plenty of talented writers who never find the right agent or the right publisher, and their work slides into obscurity. I know that it takes more than talent to get published--and what if the cards are never dealt in my favor? What if I work my ass off, and I never get anywhere? This is just a hobby? I suppose I should say that it wouldn't matter, and that I write for the joy of writing. And to a certain extent, of course, I do, or I wouldn't write. But a lot of the times I write because I want to be a writer. I want to share my work, I want to have readers and yes, I want to work from home. And I know how incredibly unlikely that is. Most of the time I delude myself into thinking that I am somehow special, that of course someday I'll get my break. But I have to deal with the fact that it may not ever happen. And what then? Will I still be willing to write novels for the sheer joy of it? Seeing as I have finished 3 complete manuscript drafts (not polished or ready to submit, of course), you would think the answer is yes. But more and more I realize the answer is no. It just takes so much time and effort, and at the end of the day, I can't keep doing this for nothing.

But how long will it take me to realize it's not going to happen? I'm still young; I still have that optimism of youth. Will I waste the prime years of my life spending hours hunched over a laptop, pondering the strength of my word choice and how long it takes to cook a meal on the road in a medieval fantasy world? Will I grow depressed as I receive rejection after rejection until I feel like a failure? There are so many books out there already, sometimes I have to wonder why I even try adding to it. Do I really have anything new or important to say?

These are, I think, normal fears for a writer. But that doesn't make them any less real to me. I still have a few years yet before I abandon this dream, but lord how I hope I don't have to!

November Wrap-Up

November has come and gone, and left me feeling pretty damn good! It's lovely to feel that for a change. Lovely to be able to use my sometimes-onerous work life as an advantage for my writing. Lovely to really feel like I accomplished something! Now, after all that hype, the real numbers...

November total: 31,825.

Keeping in mind that my goal was 9,000, I think I definitely earned a little self-congratulatory pat on the back! Of course, I must point out that few of these words were original. As I get farther along in my draft, large chunks of the writing just need to be transcribed from tablet to computer. Still, I am COUNTING IT! Over 30k words in a month, and according to my beta, not too shabby words!

So I'm not going to let this enthusiasm lag. I can finish this month. I know it. I promise I will finish this month! Yes, that means about 20k more words, but I really believe I can do it. Especially considering my husband is going on a trip for a week, which will leave me PLENTY of time for writing! (And playing xbox, but hopefully I can avoid that temptation...)