Summer begins to fade into autumn, like it does every year. Living in San Diego buffers me from this reality, somewhat. It is easy to let the sunny days slide away, one after another, sure that they will continue in an unabated stream. And yet, the days do grow shorter, and time is, in fact, passing.
Such are the thoughts I have, teetering on the edge of another August. August for me marks a turning point in the year. Suddenly my mind is racing to catch up with the reality that, yes, another year is passing without anything I can do to stop it (or speed it up, as the case may be). Summer days seems unbearably precious, knowing that the 5 PM darkness is coming up. And it’s far, far too easy to look back at previous Augusts and despair over how little progress I’ve made since then.
Let’s consider. Last August, I was searching for a job to replace my forfeited Navy career. I had abundant free time, and was using that to the best of my ability. I was coming out of a July with record-high wordcounts, churning out words faster than I ever had before. I was excited by my new project (novel 7) and full of hopes for #PitchWars. And then, by the end of the month, I had found that new day job, my wordcounts had plunged, and I had to admit that novel 7 was a slight creature that might never be marketable for traditional publishing. Still, I felt close. I felt more like a real writer than ever. Would I have believed that, a year later, I would be staring down 100 rejections for novel 7, pushing myself to finish novel 8’s first draft, contemplating another #PitchWars submission for novel 6, and honestly no closer to “making it” than before?
Two years ago, it was August 2013, and I was mired in a low period. I didn’t update my blog for months, I wrote almost nothing, and after setting a goal to finish novel 6’s first draft in July, I was still months away from achieving that. I was caught up in the real life of the Navy and moving in with my boyfriend and struggling to believe in myself. Imagine how much worse would my low period have been if I could have seen that, 2 years in the future, I would still be fighting with novel 6, without even a sure answer about what needs to be fixed after several drafts and beta reads and about 50 rejections.
Even further back, I find this post in August 2012 reaffirming—trying to convince myself—that I will continue, despite the challenges. I reference this post about what might happen if I never get anywhere with my work. It includes the closing thought “I still have a few years yet before I abandon this dream, but lord how I hope I don’t have to!” Reading that now, when it has been a few years and I still am plagued by the doubts and fears about wasting my time, well, it’s painful, honestly. Knowing that since then I have written THREE new manuscripts and yet still don’t seem to have the keys to writing one that works. Not yet.
In the waning summer of 2011, I was writing about writer’s block and my embarrassment at my lack of writerly accomplishments. I vowed to be better, to do better. And yet, four years later, I still haven’t mastered the art of writing consistently (although there has been a vast improvement). The improvements I have made have not translated into any tangible benefits except an ever-growing pile of words without readers.
Even back in 2010, when this blog was barely started, August was a time of posts about writer's block. That was the month I finished the first draft of novel 1, and yet still, only a few weeks later, I could not manage to write a thing!
Reading through these old August musings, I am struck by one thought above all. No matter how often I get down, no matter how frustrating it is or how little the words flow, I have not given up. And I won't give up. Writing is a part of me, for better or for worse. And while it is easy to despair over the lack of progress I have made, that would be a shame, because I have accomplished a lot. I've written hundreds of blog posts. I've met and friended other writers. I've written hundreds of thousands of words, sent hundred of queries, applied to contests, published on Wattpad, created a video series, I have written books! It's not nothing.
A few weeks ago, I was musing about the future to my boyfriend, and I posited that five years from now I could not really predict anything about my life. Even whether I would still be writing, given that another five years of rejection sounds almost impossible to overcome. I asked him, "Do you think I'll ever stop writing?" He did not hesitate a second. "No." He knows me better than anyone, and I think he has the right of it. Writing is in me, it has been for literally as long as I can remember, and while it may ebb and flow, I doubt it will ever leave me.
So take that, August doldrums! I am not defeated yet!
Showing posts with label novel 1. Show all posts
Showing posts with label novel 1. Show all posts
Thursday, August 6, 2015
Saturday, May 17, 2014
The Age-Old Question (of Age)
I have been writing for a very, very long time. It's hard to put an exact number on it because I literally cannot remember a time that I wasn't writing. The first story that I can vividly recall was one I wrote as part of a short story competition with my brothers. It was titled, appropriately, "The Competition," and detailed the troubles of a young girl who was the star of her ice skating team but broke her leg before their big competition. I'm not sure my exact age, although I know I was still living in Wisconsin, so probably 5 or 6. So I've got at least 2 decades of writing experience under my belt.
One, writing that makes me feel old. It brings to mind this excellent xkcd which lists the relative ages of keystone movies. "Did you realize The Matrix came out not last decade, but the one before that?" (The comic itself is dated to 2011 which just adds to the sting.)
Two, it makes me feel defeated. The real gutpunch of that xkcd comic is the alt text (the true key to xkcd's awesomeness, in case you were unaware). "If you're 15 or younger, then just remember that it's nevertheless probably too late to be a child prodigy." I know this sounds silly, but I always had dreams of being a sort of child prodigy when it came to my writing. I finished my first novel-length manuscript when I was thirteen. Sure, it had its problems. But it was my starter novel. I finished my second novel when I was a sophomore in high school. I was fifteen. Surely I had learned from my earlier mistakes. A little editing would make this one salable. I was well on my way to being an astonishing teenaged author of a blockbusting fantasy novel. I would do a book tour that included Conan O'Brien (still on NBC, hosting Late Night) and Oprah.
Well, that didn't happen. And to add insult to injury, that was right around when Christopher Paolini became famous for being the astonishing teenaged author of a blockbusting fantasy novel. I told myself that my second novel was just a warm-up, and my third novel would surely be The One. Maybe I was too late to be published by the time I was 16, but 20 was still far away.
Turns out I didn't even finish that third novel until I was 22 (I took a long hiatus!). And as much as I loved it, and as much as I edited it, I never got any nibbles on those queries (it is the one known as "novel 1" here). The third novel went on the back of the shelf. I worked on short stories and other projects and other novels, and eventually I started on what is now "novel 6" (it's my fourth completed novel ms). And time kept passing by. Now I'm 26, and I am old enough to realize I'm never going to be an astonishing young author. People my age are getting published all the time. And even though I've been working on it for two decades, I'm not among them. It's disheartening and frustrating and insanely stupid to worry about.
I know I'm far from old. But I'm also not young anymore. I'm an adult, and it's time to follow through on childhood fantasies and make them a reality!
One, writing that makes me feel old. It brings to mind this excellent xkcd which lists the relative ages of keystone movies. "Did you realize The Matrix came out not last decade, but the one before that?" (The comic itself is dated to 2011 which just adds to the sting.)
Two, it makes me feel defeated. The real gutpunch of that xkcd comic is the alt text (the true key to xkcd's awesomeness, in case you were unaware). "If you're 15 or younger, then just remember that it's nevertheless probably too late to be a child prodigy." I know this sounds silly, but I always had dreams of being a sort of child prodigy when it came to my writing. I finished my first novel-length manuscript when I was thirteen. Sure, it had its problems. But it was my starter novel. I finished my second novel when I was a sophomore in high school. I was fifteen. Surely I had learned from my earlier mistakes. A little editing would make this one salable. I was well on my way to being an astonishing teenaged author of a blockbusting fantasy novel. I would do a book tour that included Conan O'Brien (still on NBC, hosting Late Night) and Oprah.
Me about to commence a serious writing career!
Well, that didn't happen. And to add insult to injury, that was right around when Christopher Paolini became famous for being the astonishing teenaged author of a blockbusting fantasy novel. I told myself that my second novel was just a warm-up, and my third novel would surely be The One. Maybe I was too late to be published by the time I was 16, but 20 was still far away.
Turns out I didn't even finish that third novel until I was 22 (I took a long hiatus!). And as much as I loved it, and as much as I edited it, I never got any nibbles on those queries (it is the one known as "novel 1" here). The third novel went on the back of the shelf. I worked on short stories and other projects and other novels, and eventually I started on what is now "novel 6" (it's my fourth completed novel ms). And time kept passing by. Now I'm 26, and I am old enough to realize I'm never going to be an astonishing young author. People my age are getting published all the time. And even though I've been working on it for two decades, I'm not among them. It's disheartening and frustrating and insanely stupid to worry about.
I know I'm far from old. But I'm also not young anymore. I'm an adult, and it's time to follow through on childhood fantasies and make them a reality!
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
What Kind of Dog Do I Have?
Well, none, because I'm not a dog person.
But that's not the point, obviously, or it would be both a very short and very non-writing-related post!
So currently my beta reader is my boyfriend, after my other beta readers flaked out and he kept insisting he wanted to read some of my writing. I like letting him read it, but I also know it's not really what I need. Because, you know, even though I make him swear to be honest, at the end of the day he still wants to sleep with me. But he still has some good insights, and he isn't completely sugarcoating it.
The other day he was reading a book I recommended to him (The Lies of Locke Lamora, by Scott Lynch) and he pointed out a paragraph in the scene he was reading. "I'm glad you don't do stuff like this." (I'm a better writer than Scott Lynch! Well maybe not...) What he was referring to was a descriptive paragraph that had nothing to do with the scene. My writing tends to be very action-oriented--my polite way of saying that I hate writing description and have entirely too little of it. So then my boyfriend pointed out to me another paragraph in the scene where the description is integrated into what is actually happening. "I like that," he told me. "And you do that really, really well. But you don't do it enough."
And he's right. Adding description is one of the biggest things I try to do on re-writes, and it's hard. It would be a lot easier to go back and cut unnecessary crap out than try and shoehorn in more. I know my writing is too lean--this WIP is sitting right at about 80k words--and it's frustrating as hell.
So what my boyfriend told me is that some books are like Great Danes. Huge and thick and full of everything. And that maybe my book is a poodle--and no matter how much I feed it, it's never going to be a Great Dane or a German Shepherd.
That shook me pretty deeply. This WIP is the best thing I've got, and now I'm facing the idea that I can mess around with it forever but it will never be good enough. That I need to start over, at 0 words, with another idea. That terrifies me.
I'm not giving up on this WIP. I'm through 12 chapters of my rewrite and going to start shopping it again when I'm finished. But now I'm excited to start something new and see how much better I can do this time around. After all, I did first start working on this WIP when I was 16. Hopefully by now I've got something bigger than a poodle trying to get out.
But that's not the point, obviously, or it would be both a very short and very non-writing-related post!
So currently my beta reader is my boyfriend, after my other beta readers flaked out and he kept insisting he wanted to read some of my writing. I like letting him read it, but I also know it's not really what I need. Because, you know, even though I make him swear to be honest, at the end of the day he still wants to sleep with me. But he still has some good insights, and he isn't completely sugarcoating it.
The other day he was reading a book I recommended to him (The Lies of Locke Lamora, by Scott Lynch) and he pointed out a paragraph in the scene he was reading. "I'm glad you don't do stuff like this." (I'm a better writer than Scott Lynch! Well maybe not...) What he was referring to was a descriptive paragraph that had nothing to do with the scene. My writing tends to be very action-oriented--my polite way of saying that I hate writing description and have entirely too little of it. So then my boyfriend pointed out to me another paragraph in the scene where the description is integrated into what is actually happening. "I like that," he told me. "And you do that really, really well. But you don't do it enough."
And he's right. Adding description is one of the biggest things I try to do on re-writes, and it's hard. It would be a lot easier to go back and cut unnecessary crap out than try and shoehorn in more. I know my writing is too lean--this WIP is sitting right at about 80k words--and it's frustrating as hell.
So what my boyfriend told me is that some books are like Great Danes. Huge and thick and full of everything. And that maybe my book is a poodle--and no matter how much I feed it, it's never going to be a Great Dane or a German Shepherd.
That shook me pretty deeply. This WIP is the best thing I've got, and now I'm facing the idea that I can mess around with it forever but it will never be good enough. That I need to start over, at 0 words, with another idea. That terrifies me.
I'm not giving up on this WIP. I'm through 12 chapters of my rewrite and going to start shopping it again when I'm finished. But now I'm excited to start something new and see how much better I can do this time around. After all, I did first start working on this WIP when I was 16. Hopefully by now I've got something bigger than a poodle trying to get out.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Wishful Thinking
I haven't updated the blog recently because I was really, really hoping that my next post would be one with good news. I submitted a couple of my short stories to a few different publications back in March, and I had a good feeling about them. Maybe something would come of it, even if just a little nibble in the form of a personalized rejections.
(Rejections, honestly, do not faze me. I've been collecting rejection letters since I was like 12, and it is always the expected outcome. But hey, at least it means I'm trying! I only wish I hadn't lost some of my rejection letters over the years and moves.)
Anyway, here we are now, and it is May and I haven't heard anything. Not a peep. It's been about 5 weeks, which was generally listed as the response time, so I'll either start hearing soon or I'll know it wasn't meant to be this time. It's a little disheartening (give me a rejection letter any day, but sitting around waiting is killer!), but it's not like I've been sitting around twiddling my thumbs. I've been working busily on my rewrite of my novel.
So it's not quite the good news I was hoping to post, but it is good news. I've finished eight chapters--there are only eighteen in all, so I'm almost half done. And now that I'm finished at work for a while, I am getting one or two chapters done every day. I should be finished with this rewrite by the end of next week. And THAT is good fucking news.
(Rejections, honestly, do not faze me. I've been collecting rejection letters since I was like 12, and it is always the expected outcome. But hey, at least it means I'm trying! I only wish I hadn't lost some of my rejection letters over the years and moves.)
Anyway, here we are now, and it is May and I haven't heard anything. Not a peep. It's been about 5 weeks, which was generally listed as the response time, so I'll either start hearing soon or I'll know it wasn't meant to be this time. It's a little disheartening (give me a rejection letter any day, but sitting around waiting is killer!), but it's not like I've been sitting around twiddling my thumbs. I've been working busily on my rewrite of my novel.
So it's not quite the good news I was hoping to post, but it is good news. I've finished eight chapters--there are only eighteen in all, so I'm almost half done. And now that I'm finished at work for a while, I am getting one or two chapters done every day. I should be finished with this rewrite by the end of next week. And THAT is good fucking news.
Monday, October 17, 2011
More Disappointment
So much for knuckling down. I had a small burst of productivity (2 days) and then nothing.In my defense, I've had some personal issues that have totally derailed my attention for anything. Not to get into to too much detail--this is my writing blog, after all--but my boyfriend broke up with me for legitimate reasons outside our control. We still both have strong feelings for each other and it has been quite the struggle to get myself to even focus on work, so writing was basically out of the question. I hate to use the "tortured artist" stereotype, but isn't it true that so many of us seem to feel things so strongly? I sure do, anyway.
But I am really determined to move on with my life, including my writing, so here I am promising more writing yet again. This time, however, I have a better plan than "just force it," which never works for me. I realized it was really sapping my creative energy to try to come up with new story ideas (I suck at plotting, I confess), make an outline, and then get 10k or 2k words into a draft and fizzle out.
So I decided I need to focus on the work I have that is complete and, hopefully, has publishable potential. Time to bare my poor little writer's ego to some barbs. I solicited some betas from an online forum I frequent, and the good folks there were quick to help me out. Now I have 3 different people currently reading it, and I am looking forward to getting their feedback and wrestling with the third draft.
I really think that after this draft I can seriously start shopping this one. I've put out a few feelers already, but it was more to force myself out of my comfort zone and get more familiar with the process than any real idea that it was ready. (Perhaps a poor idea on my part, as it has narrowed my submission options now, but it was made and done.)
I make no promises, since I break them so easily when it comes to writing goals, but I feel good about re-visiting Novel 1 instead of trying to come up with another one at the moment.
But I am really determined to move on with my life, including my writing, so here I am promising more writing yet again. This time, however, I have a better plan than "just force it," which never works for me. I realized it was really sapping my creative energy to try to come up with new story ideas (I suck at plotting, I confess), make an outline, and then get 10k or 2k words into a draft and fizzle out.
So I decided I need to focus on the work I have that is complete and, hopefully, has publishable potential. Time to bare my poor little writer's ego to some barbs. I solicited some betas from an online forum I frequent, and the good folks there were quick to help me out. Now I have 3 different people currently reading it, and I am looking forward to getting their feedback and wrestling with the third draft.
I really think that after this draft I can seriously start shopping this one. I've put out a few feelers already, but it was more to force myself out of my comfort zone and get more familiar with the process than any real idea that it was ready. (Perhaps a poor idea on my part, as it has narrowed my submission options now, but it was made and done.)
I make no promises, since I break them so easily when it comes to writing goals, but I feel good about re-visiting Novel 1 instead of trying to come up with another one at the moment.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
April 2011 Wrap-Up
Well, April didn't turn out quite like I was expecting. I had oodles of freetime, there were times when I literally spent an hour lying in bed staring at the ceiling. And yet still--no words. No nothing.
Guess going through a separation (and soon divorce) doesn't encourage those creative juices! So my total was dismal. I think that Novel 4 is done-for. It's excruciating to write, I think it's coming out boring and affected, and I haven't got any excitement to even finish it. I won't think of it as a waste of 17k words, though! I like to think that I've learned and improved from it.
On the bright side, I dug back into Novel 1, and I still think it has promise! Want to finish this overhaul and then will be querying seriously.
Words written: 2,008.
Guess going through a separation (and soon divorce) doesn't encourage those creative juices! So my total was dismal. I think that Novel 4 is done-for. It's excruciating to write, I think it's coming out boring and affected, and I haven't got any excitement to even finish it. I won't think of it as a waste of 17k words, though! I like to think that I've learned and improved from it.
On the bright side, I dug back into Novel 1, and I still think it has promise! Want to finish this overhaul and then will be querying seriously.
Words written: 2,008.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Querying!
Isn't it the thing we all fear and anticipate? Don't we have such a love-hate relationship with it? Okay, maybe everyone else doesn't, but I sure do!
I told myself I wasn't going to query Novel 1 (still nameless!) until I finished draft 3, but I decided that it couldn't hurt to put out a few feelers now. What if I spend months endlessly polishing and quirking only to discover that an agent would have been interested in January? It's all part of my weird self-perception as a writer. Sometimes I think I suck so bad that I could never be published (sadly reinforced today when I read the Scribophile blog), and other times I think I'm pretty damn good and certainly a couple notches above the other unpublished writers. (Objectively, the former is more probable.)
Anyway, so I decided to send out some queries. I worked on a query letter and synopsis, I trawled the Agent Query website for agents that might be a good fit for my work. I hit "send" and logged it and knew I wouldn't hear back for weeks. To my surprise, I heard back almost immediately from most! (I sent out 5 feelers this time.) They were all form rejections.
Sigh.
Of course that was exactly what I was expecting, but a little part of me was hoping that I'd get some little tidbit to keep my spirits up, to feel like I could someday see my books on the shelf.
Anyway, really am going to finish draft 3 before I try to query again. Doing a readthrough of draft 2 right now, taking notes about things I want to change (on a big-ish scale, like adding new scenes or deepening a recurring theme) and am going to go back and finagle around. Then I can go back and do a line edit for stuff like "Does a comma really belong there?" and "This phrasing is awkward."
In the meantime, I'm still working on draft 1 of Novel 4. Sure, at the end of the year I'll probably have 2 full, unpublished manuscripts and nothing to do with either, but I'm not ready to give up yet!
I told myself I wasn't going to query Novel 1 (still nameless!) until I finished draft 3, but I decided that it couldn't hurt to put out a few feelers now. What if I spend months endlessly polishing and quirking only to discover that an agent would have been interested in January? It's all part of my weird self-perception as a writer. Sometimes I think I suck so bad that I could never be published (sadly reinforced today when I read the Scribophile blog), and other times I think I'm pretty damn good and certainly a couple notches above the other unpublished writers. (Objectively, the former is more probable.)
Anyway, so I decided to send out some queries. I worked on a query letter and synopsis, I trawled the Agent Query website for agents that might be a good fit for my work. I hit "send" and logged it and knew I wouldn't hear back for weeks. To my surprise, I heard back almost immediately from most! (I sent out 5 feelers this time.) They were all form rejections.
Sigh.
Of course that was exactly what I was expecting, but a little part of me was hoping that I'd get some little tidbit to keep my spirits up, to feel like I could someday see my books on the shelf.
Anyway, really am going to finish draft 3 before I try to query again. Doing a readthrough of draft 2 right now, taking notes about things I want to change (on a big-ish scale, like adding new scenes or deepening a recurring theme) and am going to go back and finagle around. Then I can go back and do a line edit for stuff like "Does a comma really belong there?" and "This phrasing is awkward."
In the meantime, I'm still working on draft 1 of Novel 4. Sure, at the end of the year I'll probably have 2 full, unpublished manuscripts and nothing to do with either, but I'm not ready to give up yet!
Sunday, January 2, 2011
A Year in Review: 2010
Today I'm not just looking at a month wrap-up, but a whole year! And what a year it's been. From deciding to start writing again, to finishing the rough draft of Novel 1, to finishing the second draft of Novel 1, to getting ideas for Novels 4 and 5 (actually "Novel" 5 should be more properly called Series 1...), to even starting a hesitant step on the path to querydom (a truly terrifying place). I wrote more than I really considered possible. I don't have a total count, but it was probably about 100k between various drafts and projects. That may not sound like a lot, but it was.
It's good to end the year on a high note. It gives me hope for the new year stretching gloriously in front of me. I have a rather long absence coming up (6-7 weeks), and while I am still dreading it, I am also excited to use it as an intense productivity time. I'm full of ideas and words and characters that are just dying to get onto a page--the best part of writing!
So my goals for 2011 are to finish the third draft of Novel 1, which will get me to a queryable draft (still waiting on my beta to finish draft 2), finish at least one draft of Novel 4, and either draft 2 of Novel 4 or draft 1 of Novel 5. So yes, I have set for myself a goal of finishing THREE drafts. Sounds daunting when I phrase it like that, but I know that with little steps and chapters here and there, it won't be that bad. It's so doable!
As far as word count, I've set the bar at 180,000. I haven't really done the math if that will encompass all the drafts I want to do, but it seems a reasonable goal of about 500 words a day.
And so far I am ahead of schedule! So here's hoping that I can keep going full steam ahead through whatever trials, tribulations, and joys the new year will bring!
It's good to end the year on a high note. It gives me hope for the new year stretching gloriously in front of me. I have a rather long absence coming up (6-7 weeks), and while I am still dreading it, I am also excited to use it as an intense productivity time. I'm full of ideas and words and characters that are just dying to get onto a page--the best part of writing!
So my goals for 2011 are to finish the third draft of Novel 1, which will get me to a queryable draft (still waiting on my beta to finish draft 2), finish at least one draft of Novel 4, and either draft 2 of Novel 4 or draft 1 of Novel 5. So yes, I have set for myself a goal of finishing THREE drafts. Sounds daunting when I phrase it like that, but I know that with little steps and chapters here and there, it won't be that bad. It's so doable!
As far as word count, I've set the bar at 180,000. I haven't really done the math if that will encompass all the drafts I want to do, but it seems a reasonable goal of about 500 words a day.
And so far I am ahead of schedule! So here's hoping that I can keep going full steam ahead through whatever trials, tribulations, and joys the new year will bring!
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Beginnings!
Oh, how I love beginnings! As I let draft 2 of Novel 1 sit (I need to do the third draft with a relatively "fresh" set of eyes--I am worn out and sick of it all right now!), I decided to start putting some new stuff down on paper. I've been planning to work on Novel 2 next, a grand ol' space opera with a, hopefully, intriguing protagonist, but all of the sudden I wanted to work on what shall hence be called Novel 4. Novel 4 is an idea I've had banging around in my head for ages. I tried to use it for NaNoWriMo a couple years ago, but it never took off. It just seems right to work on that now. In the past hour I've already sketched out a rough outline and am working on some basic charactering (um, yes, it's a verb!). I may even begin work on draft 1 this week!
The excitement of starting something totally NEW is amazing. It banishes all my fears and trepidations about "oh, well do I really want to be a writer," and somehow makes it much harder to be all doom and gloom about the future of hard-copy publishing and the role of sheer dumb luck in the whole process. I know that as I go on and the writing gets tough and isn't as perfect as I want, all the doubts will return and I will get to wrestle them again. But for now, I am going to enjoy the sweet feeling of creation!
(Also, starting work on a query for Novel 1. I know that the third draft needs to be done and polished before I can start submitting, but it can't hurt to have a letter ready to go, right?)
(Also also, I still don't have a title for Novel 1! I know that it's the least important bit and can be changed once I blow someone away with my amazing writing, but I mean, I'd like to have one, you know? I can't query it as "novel 1," as awesome as that would be. Fuck. I hate titles. Hopefully my beta can come up with one...)
(Oh, and one more thing, I did a manuscript word count for Novel 1, and it clocked in at 84k! Perfect!)
The excitement of starting something totally NEW is amazing. It banishes all my fears and trepidations about "oh, well do I really want to be a writer," and somehow makes it much harder to be all doom and gloom about the future of hard-copy publishing and the role of sheer dumb luck in the whole process. I know that as I go on and the writing gets tough and isn't as perfect as I want, all the doubts will return and I will get to wrestle them again. But for now, I am going to enjoy the sweet feeling of creation!
(Also, starting work on a query for Novel 1. I know that the third draft needs to be done and polished before I can start submitting, but it can't hurt to have a letter ready to go, right?)
(Also also, I still don't have a title for Novel 1! I know that it's the least important bit and can be changed once I blow someone away with my amazing writing, but I mean, I'd like to have one, you know? I can't query it as "novel 1," as awesome as that would be. Fuck. I hate titles. Hopefully my beta can come up with one...)
(Oh, and one more thing, I did a manuscript word count for Novel 1, and it clocked in at 84k! Perfect!)
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Done!
What a lovely word! Done! And that's what I am--DONE with my second draft of Novel 1! It's a great feeling. Like I've scaled a mountain for the second time! Of course there is more drafting to come, but this now feels like a Real Manuscript. I can now start to doodle query letters and novel titles and imagine my book in print--in addition to working hard to get it ready for that, of course.
I clocked in a little shy of my word goal, but as I've been going off "word count" as the easiest route, I don't know what my queryable word count will be. Once I get the manuscript all together (I have chapters strewn across 3 computers), I will format and find manuscript word count. I'm hoping that comes out a little closer to 80k.
Determined not to let my pessimism/realism from getting my spirits down right now. Right now, I know I CAN and WILL be a published author someday!
I clocked in a little shy of my word goal, but as I've been going off "word count" as the easiest route, I don't know what my queryable word count will be. Once I get the manuscript all together (I have chapters strewn across 3 computers), I will format and find manuscript word count. I'm hoping that comes out a little closer to 80k.
Determined not to let my pessimism/realism from getting my spirits down right now. Right now, I know I CAN and WILL be a published author someday!
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
November Wrap-Up
November has come and gone, and left me feeling pretty damn good! It's lovely to feel that for a change. Lovely to be able to use my sometimes-onerous work life as an advantage for my writing. Lovely to really feel like I accomplished something! Now, after all that hype, the real numbers...
November total: 31,825.
Keeping in mind that my goal was 9,000, I think I definitely earned a little self-congratulatory pat on the back! Of course, I must point out that few of these words were original. As I get farther along in my draft, large chunks of the writing just need to be transcribed from tablet to computer. Still, I am COUNTING IT! Over 30k words in a month, and according to my beta, not too shabby words!
So I'm not going to let this enthusiasm lag. I can finish this month. I know it. I promise I will finish this month! Yes, that means about 20k more words, but I really believe I can do it. Especially considering my husband is going on a trip for a week, which will leave me PLENTY of time for writing! (And playing xbox, but hopefully I can avoid that temptation...)
November total: 31,825.
Keeping in mind that my goal was 9,000, I think I definitely earned a little self-congratulatory pat on the back! Of course, I must point out that few of these words were original. As I get farther along in my draft, large chunks of the writing just need to be transcribed from tablet to computer. Still, I am COUNTING IT! Over 30k words in a month, and according to my beta, not too shabby words!
So I'm not going to let this enthusiasm lag. I can finish this month. I know it. I promise I will finish this month! Yes, that means about 20k more words, but I really believe I can do it. Especially considering my husband is going on a trip for a week, which will leave me PLENTY of time for writing! (And playing xbox, but hopefully I can avoid that temptation...)
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Full Steam Ahead
After months of struggling, I think I have finally broken through that wall! November started out slow, 5 days with not a word written at all. I was wondering if even my modest 9k goal was too high. Then, as I got into a routine this underway, I started writing every day. I've written every day for the past 8 days, and I have already trounced my 9k goal! (Currently sitting at 11,572 for the month.) Plus, I finally got past the "old part" of my draft into the newer stuff that requires very little rewriting. For example, today I typed up a scene of 3167 words that needed only a few cosmetic tweakings, and it took less than an hour. I am on to Chapter 9 of 18, and I am really starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel (and that light is a third draft...).
So hopefully this momentum can continue! I am underway for another 6 days, and I have no reason to think I won't be able to keep this up the whole time. I've even started to have new novel ideas pop into my head and realized that, in a few months, I might be able to start seriously working on them! Awesome. I have to remind myself to slow down a little, I still need at least another draft of this one, but I'm already drafting queries in my head and wondering which agent will be right for me.
I'm just going to enjoy the optimism for now! =)
So hopefully this momentum can continue! I am underway for another 6 days, and I have no reason to think I won't be able to keep this up the whole time. I've even started to have new novel ideas pop into my head and realized that, in a few months, I might be able to start seriously working on them! Awesome. I have to remind myself to slow down a little, I still need at least another draft of this one, but I'm already drafting queries in my head and wondering which agent will be right for me.
I'm just going to enjoy the optimism for now! =)
Friday, October 29, 2010
NaNoWriMo
As October winds down, I find myself facing, yet again, the Big Question--to Nano or no? I've attempted NaNoWriMo before, but I've never been too successful at it. I find that it's no different than my usual self-motivation. The impetus to write copious words dies after a few days. Then I get disappointed in myself...and that's just a vicious cycle.
On the other hand, it might be a good chance to get a new novel kicked off. As I'm approaching the finish line for Novel 1 (okay, so I've only finished 5 chapters of the 18 chapters in the 2nd of at least 3 drafts--it's more done than not done!), I want to get working on something new. I'm thinking something scifi, as I've been in the fantasy mode for a while. I have a few ideas, but nothing that's really chomping at the bit to get going. So Nano could be a good chance to force a new draft into gear. But it could also fizzle and make me hate yet another of my ideas, as happened during my last two attempts.
Not to mention that most of my month of November will be spent doing a rather exhausting exercise for work. So I guess I won't be even fooling myself into thinking I'll Nano this year. Instead, I think I need to focus on finishing this draft before moving onto my next project. I've never been a good multitasker!
On the other hand, it might be a good chance to get a new novel kicked off. As I'm approaching the finish line for Novel 1 (okay, so I've only finished 5 chapters of the 18 chapters in the 2nd of at least 3 drafts--it's more done than not done!), I want to get working on something new. I'm thinking something scifi, as I've been in the fantasy mode for a while. I have a few ideas, but nothing that's really chomping at the bit to get going. So Nano could be a good chance to force a new draft into gear. But it could also fizzle and make me hate yet another of my ideas, as happened during my last two attempts.
Not to mention that most of my month of November will be spent doing a rather exhausting exercise for work. So I guess I won't be even fooling myself into thinking I'll Nano this year. Instead, I think I need to focus on finishing this draft before moving onto my next project. I've never been a good multitasker!
Monday, September 20, 2010
Breakthrough! And then...
It's so funny how much I've been realizing the truth of my own words! After hitting a long lull, I finally got a burst of inspiration (on a cross-country flight, oddly enough). That was all it took for me to gain momentum. After over a week of 0 word days, I was busting out almost 2k a day! I caught up to my September progress goals! I was going to do awesome this month!
And then technical difficulties. I was unable to access my Google docs where my work was saved. (I have other copies, but not on the computer I had available for working.) A whole week of being stymied by these issues, and so then when I did have the time and resources this weekend to work...no momentum. Totally gone. Another string of 0's for days on end. Totally stalled.
So finally today I am ready to go. Really feeling good, have a few ideas to implement...and I realize I don't have my rough draft to work from! It's enough to make me beat my head against the wall. Still, I didn't let my inspiration go to waste, and I knocked out the rest of my structural work. Now I have an entirely completed outline to work to! Looking at 18 chapters, 69 scenes total. (Currently on Chapter 4, Scene 3...) Once I hit about Chapter 9, I expect the pace to pick up a lot more, because the second half was written this year (as opposed to the first half, written in high school!), and needs much less re-writing. And no added scenes past Chapter 8! (In contrast, of the 14 scenes completed in this draft, 4 of them are new.)
Anyway, hopefully I can get some words down tonight when notepads and files are re-united!
And then technical difficulties. I was unable to access my Google docs where my work was saved. (I have other copies, but not on the computer I had available for working.) A whole week of being stymied by these issues, and so then when I did have the time and resources this weekend to work...no momentum. Totally gone. Another string of 0's for days on end. Totally stalled.
So finally today I am ready to go. Really feeling good, have a few ideas to implement...and I realize I don't have my rough draft to work from! It's enough to make me beat my head against the wall. Still, I didn't let my inspiration go to waste, and I knocked out the rest of my structural work. Now I have an entirely completed outline to work to! Looking at 18 chapters, 69 scenes total. (Currently on Chapter 4, Scene 3...) Once I hit about Chapter 9, I expect the pace to pick up a lot more, because the second half was written this year (as opposed to the first half, written in high school!), and needs much less re-writing. And no added scenes past Chapter 8! (In contrast, of the 14 scenes completed in this draft, 4 of them are new.)
Anyway, hopefully I can get some words down tonight when notepads and files are re-united!
Friday, August 13, 2010
Drafting is Fun!
The past few weeks of finishing my rough draft have bee difficult. From time to time I wondered why I was even doing this. I wasn't having fun, I was constantly beating myself up, and it was painful to get 200 words a day. Yet I saw the light at the end of the tunnel, and I am so glad I pushed through! Now that I have started on my re-write, inspiration has flourished anew. I'm easily cruising past my daily word goal of 800, having half-hour bouts of writing that are kicking out 1K words. True, a large part of these words are merely adapted from what I had already written. But what I find myself doing mostly is reading over a page or two of my handwritten draft, and then typing at will for my new draft. Sometimes I surprise myself by using the exact same turn of phrase for an upcoming part that I haven't re-read recently, and sometimes I start going one way and wonder how I ever wrote it so differently to start with.
Besides just the writing of the new draft, there is the plotting and restructuring. I have a whole list of the scenes from my first draft, and that snapshot makes it easy to see how much I really needed to do some structural work! Over the six years of the first draft, I seemed to have gone through several phases regarding chapters. I have one chapter that is 13 scenes long and is nearly half the draft, followed by six single-scene chapters! And jumping from city to city because trying to describe travel bored me, which leads to weeks and miles being condensed sloppily into 2 key scenes and 5 pages. I've been having a lot of fun moving things around, adding new scenes here and there, combining others. It's kind of like starting a whole new novel, except a lot easier because most of the hardest work is done!
So writing is on the upswing for me right now. I'm almost telling myself I could be ready to start writing query letters by the end of the year! Then I realize I'm getting way ahead of myself. Oops.
(Right now, going off MWord word count. Once the draft is finished, I'll revise to "manuscript word count," with the 12 point Courier font and 250 "words" per page.)
Besides just the writing of the new draft, there is the plotting and restructuring. I have a whole list of the scenes from my first draft, and that snapshot makes it easy to see how much I really needed to do some structural work! Over the six years of the first draft, I seemed to have gone through several phases regarding chapters. I have one chapter that is 13 scenes long and is nearly half the draft, followed by six single-scene chapters! And jumping from city to city because trying to describe travel bored me, which leads to weeks and miles being condensed sloppily into 2 key scenes and 5 pages. I've been having a lot of fun moving things around, adding new scenes here and there, combining others. It's kind of like starting a whole new novel, except a lot easier because most of the hardest work is done!
So writing is on the upswing for me right now. I'm almost telling myself I could be ready to start writing query letters by the end of the year! Then I realize I'm getting way ahead of myself. Oops.
(Right now, going off MWord word count. Once the draft is finished, I'll revise to "manuscript word count," with the 12 point Courier font and 250 "words" per page.)
Saturday, August 7, 2010
THE END.
Wow, what an amazing feeling! It's been so long since I've finished something that I almost forgot what it's like. To actually be able to write "THE END." And underline it, and star it. Because this is a Big Moment. Sure, I still have a very extensive re-write to do. Sure, after that I'll need to draft a query letter. Sure, after that I'll have exhausting, demoralizing, and depressing rejections to get through. Sure, after THAT I'll probably re-write again, and again...but this is the first big step in the way of getting one of my novels published. Ooh. What writer doesn't get a chill down their spine at that thought?
I started this novel when I was 16, which is ridiculous. Six and a half years ago! Yes, I took a big break (about 4 years) in the middle, so it's not like it's taken me that long of steady work to produce a rough draft (I'd never be a professional novelist at that rate!). That's still a long time. I'm so glad I didn't give up on this one. Despite all the flaws that I know it has (and that I'm just itching to go and find and FIX), this is much better than my first two manuscripts. So, with a happy heart, I'm on the next task. It seems a lot more doable now.
Rough estimate (based on counting a couple pages and averaging them, which is probably wildly off due to changing handwriting, pens, etc), the draft clocks in at 53k. I know it's not a lot, but I also plan to enrich it during my re-write. I don't go into too much detail at first, and I've not given the subplots as much space as they deserve. So I'm expecting my finished draft to be over 60k, and hopefully more like 70k. I know it's short, but I also know that short can actually help in publishability, so I'm not worried (yet).
I started this novel when I was 16, which is ridiculous. Six and a half years ago! Yes, I took a big break (about 4 years) in the middle, so it's not like it's taken me that long of steady work to produce a rough draft (I'd never be a professional novelist at that rate!). That's still a long time. I'm so glad I didn't give up on this one. Despite all the flaws that I know it has (and that I'm just itching to go and find and FIX), this is much better than my first two manuscripts. So, with a happy heart, I'm on the next task. It seems a lot more doable now.
Rough estimate (based on counting a couple pages and averaging them, which is probably wildly off due to changing handwriting, pens, etc), the draft clocks in at 53k. I know it's not a lot, but I also plan to enrich it during my re-write. I don't go into too much detail at first, and I've not given the subplots as much space as they deserve. So I'm expecting my finished draft to be over 60k, and hopefully more like 70k. I know it's short, but I also know that short can actually help in publishability, so I'm not worried (yet).
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Pushing Through
I have been stalled at The Ending for a few days now. Partly this is due to craziness at work--due to a last minute schedule change, we ended up traveling up to Seattle! Still, as much as I might make excuses for myself, I know that I had the time to get writing done if I'd so chosen. But I didn't, because I was daunted by the task at hand. I'm almost finished with the main conflict, and I'm faced with tying up the loose ends. I don't want the novel to drag on, but I don't want to write a handy little epilogue either. I want to SHOW these characters getting their resolution. But I can't seem to manage that without it being slapped together hastily. So instead, I'm not writing anything.
It's frustrating, being this close to finishing this draft and not being able to close the deal. Of course I have a work function tonight, so another excuse rears its head. I'm already far behind on my August goals, and it's only the 4th! Part of the problem is that I'm so excited to start on my re-write, I don't actually want to finish the draft first. Tomorrow is going to be another hectic work day, coordinating a big function, but Friday is going to be IT. I am going to finish this draft then, I swear it! Okay, maybe not, but I'm going to get a good chunk of work done. Must finish one milestone before I can look forward to the next!
It's frustrating, being this close to finishing this draft and not being able to close the deal. Of course I have a work function tonight, so another excuse rears its head. I'm already far behind on my August goals, and it's only the 4th! Part of the problem is that I'm so excited to start on my re-write, I don't actually want to finish the draft first. Tomorrow is going to be another hectic work day, coordinating a big function, but Friday is going to be IT. I am going to finish this draft then, I swear it! Okay, maybe not, but I'm going to get a good chunk of work done. Must finish one milestone before I can look forward to the next!
Sunday, August 1, 2010
July 2010 Wrap-Up
July has come and gone, and it was not an altogether unproductive month for me. I had hoped to write 31 pages, which is not a very lofty goal, but given my work schedule and sometimes much-lacking motivation, it was difficult enough. I am pleased.
Pages written: 43.62 (by hand)
Words written: 8000 (approximate)
August will see the completion of Novel 1!
Pages written: 43.62 (by hand)
Words written: 8000 (approximate)
August will see the completion of Novel 1!
Friday, July 30, 2010
Hello, Internet...
Not that I think anyone is interested, but more for my own benefit, I am starting a dedicated WRITING BLOG. Whee! Just another distraction from actually getting any writing done? Probably. But hopefully also an incentive to keep those creative juices flowing, to remind myself what I have accomplished and what more I will accomplish in the future. There are hundreds of people who are doing this, and I believe that I can too. I just need to dedicate myself to actually getting words down on the page. I can't even contemplate agent searching yet or anything.
I guess a current breakdown of my WIP is in order as a starting point.
Novel 1, fantasy, almost completed first draft. Currently clocking in at around 50K, not quite done yet. Needs a lot of work, as I took nearly a four year hiatus from writing this. Am very excited to get started on the second draft.
Novel 2, sci fi, barely started first draft. Toying with the ideas and where I want to go with them. Thinking a multi-book series on this one, but given my difficulties making even ONE book (all my drafts tend to be a bit on the short side), we'll see.
Novel 3, fantasy, barely started first draft. Like this one, but have run into a brick wall as far as the plot. As in, it has a plot, but there is no REASON for said plot. So stuck.
Short Story 1, halfway done first draft (869 words). I'm not usually a big short story writer, but this idea struck me one day and I've been enjoying writing it so far. Also the only thing I'm working on that isn't SF/F.
So that's it so far. My big push is finishing the first draft of Novel 1 and then working a strong re-write. My hope is to do a chapter a week once I get to the re-write, which would be awesome. My husband is going to be a beta (and swears he'll be honest, but isn't much of a reader, so will be a first-stage, rough idea beta), as well as working some Scribophile/writing board excerpts to make sure I'm headed in a good direction.
Everything seems so possible right now, even when I'm struggling to get 200 words a day, and I hope I can hold on to that feeling!
I guess a current breakdown of my WIP is in order as a starting point.
Novel 1, fantasy, almost completed first draft. Currently clocking in at around 50K, not quite done yet. Needs a lot of work, as I took nearly a four year hiatus from writing this. Am very excited to get started on the second draft.
Novel 2, sci fi, barely started first draft. Toying with the ideas and where I want to go with them. Thinking a multi-book series on this one, but given my difficulties making even ONE book (all my drafts tend to be a bit on the short side), we'll see.
Novel 3, fantasy, barely started first draft. Like this one, but have run into a brick wall as far as the plot. As in, it has a plot, but there is no REASON for said plot. So stuck.
Short Story 1, halfway done first draft (869 words). I'm not usually a big short story writer, but this idea struck me one day and I've been enjoying writing it so far. Also the only thing I'm working on that isn't SF/F.
So that's it so far. My big push is finishing the first draft of Novel 1 and then working a strong re-write. My hope is to do a chapter a week once I get to the re-write, which would be awesome. My husband is going to be a beta (and swears he'll be honest, but isn't much of a reader, so will be a first-stage, rough idea beta), as well as working some Scribophile/writing board excerpts to make sure I'm headed in a good direction.
Everything seems so possible right now, even when I'm struggling to get 200 words a day, and I hope I can hold on to that feeling!
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